Tag: Depression

Life, Nothing Sad. Deleting everything sad from Life – Happy Heart Forever. I am sitting on a swing. A swing that I always see from my window. But, I never thought I would ever get a chance to come here and sit. Today I am here right now. And the only thought that is repeatedly coming to my mind is about all the experiences of my life that were hurting.

 I understand that Life is a mixed experience of  emotions and it starts from the very first day. The day we are born. We cry to fulfill our needs, we learn. If we like or are pleased with something, we smile, we laugh. We learn to crawl, walk. After falling several times while trying, we learn. We understood that we do not want to walk in rough surface, because it hurts, we learn this and we grow. We learn and we grow.

When we try to recollect, some events we remember, some we don’t. We know that if we touch hot oil, we will get burnt. We know if we touch a live wire, we will get shock. Some learning we get by achievements, some by failures. But we learn. And surprisingly, at later stages of life, we don’t remember the reason for the learning in most of the cases.

I also know that life is a mix of many emotions happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger, pride, shame, embarrassment, excitement and many more.

I know this all. This is what I have heard. This is what all of us have heard. Time and again. It’s life. These emotions are different colours of this life, and whatnot. 

If someone asks you to recall event for your life related to each section. Can you?

When  I asked this question to myself, I could not answer. Ok, some credit surely goes to memory. But still. 

What I remembered, were the incidents when I was hurt. But surprisingly, not by things , but by the people. And again today while recalling it hurts. What I remembered, were some good times I spent with people around. Every memory brings back some emotions.

But, what I noticed, was that, all the good memories stayed for little and the emotional baggage of hurt and pain stayed for a comparatively longer time.

What if we find an option of select all and delete?

I would have deleted all the memories associated with pain, hurt, agony and all similar kind.

And just kept the nice one if I get the choice. 

I have heard that whatever you pray to God, looking at the rising Sun, at the break of the very first ray, that wish is granted. 

Oh God, please select all sad, bad, painful and hurting memories from my past. I don’t want to have any of them in my mind. I don’t want to remember about places, people, incidents,situations or anything that is related to those unhappy experiences. 

Please God, Select All ( sad, bad, painful, hurting memories) and delete.

I sat there, watching the sky change colours, people passed by me. Swinging slowly, I was so relieved, so happy, after seeing that colourful sky, I felt my life is also full of colours. I am so happy.

It is 7:30am, I should go back and get ready for office. Today I have to take care of a new presentation submitted by the finance department.

From here my apartment looks good. 

I have walked for 5 mins, but I am not able to find the gate, which stays open till 7:30 am. No worries, I will check all the three gates. It’s taking time, but it’s good to walk.

Finally, I am at my apartment and it is just seven floors to my flat. 

Guard, why is this lift not working?

Mam, it’s under maintenance.

From when? I remember it was working fine.

No Mam, it is not working from past 5 days. Cable and some parts needs replacement. We circulated the notice Mam.

You didn’t get it to me.

See Mam, you have signed. You must have forgotten about it. Sorry for inconvenience.

Oh! It’s ok. I will take the stairs. It is anyhow healthy. 

I came inside my house. While combing I realised, non of my memories have any association to hurt. It Sounds strange, but I think my prayer is answered.

Select all delete.

There goes all the painfully unwanted memories. With that goes the learning. With that goes the awareness to avoid the same situations next time.

I am left with good experiences, were it is just love, happiness and joy of life.

Now my past is all set and clearly Happy on records.

But now as my present is full of mixed emotions, no past learning and unaware of how to deal with tricky situations, So I don’t know how to cope with setbacks.

I have no idea of how to get back to track, as I have no records of any such learning in my whole life. 
I have no memories or experience of my field of expertise. Finance. All those long hours of work, all those tricky cases, special tricks and tips, everything is erased, deleted.

Oh God! What have I done. I tried to edit my past and landed up spoiling my present. To made the past look Happy I unlearned lessons given by life. This unlearning is spoiling my present life.

No I don’t want it, no, I don’t want it this way. I don’t want things this way anymore. 

I am shouting my throat out but, God is not listening.  Please God. Please , I need my lessons. I need my life learnings. 

Alarm started to ring,

4:30am.

All sweaty, breathing fast I opened my eyes, and realised it was a dream. A dream that felt real, than the reality. 

And it came with a life lesson. I have to embrace all scars, all bad memories. And I have to learn a lesson from them. I should stay happy for, I graduated from them.

Life is what it is. Take it will both arms open. It gives us joy, it gives us happiness. it gives us pain, hurt, anger etc.

What we can do is, accept everything. And have a constant belief in self.

When things get rough, remember, it’s the rubbing that brings out the shine.

We all face hard times. We all fall and fiail. So let’s have strength deep inside us, to compose ourselves and stand again.

Let’s spread love and happiness in the world.

And please, comment if you also want to remember only happy incidents in your like. Please comment if you have any suggestions.

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