Discipline Without Physical Punishment One is not permitted to hit one’s spouse or a stranger. Why in the world should one be permitted to hit a smaller and even more vulnerable child? Studies show that children who are hit identify with the aggressor and are more likely to become hitters themselves, i.e., bullies and future abusers of their children and spouses. They tend to learn to use violent behavior as a way to deal with disputes.
Become friends with your child. At this age forcing rules will not work. Talk to your child about natural consequences of their behaviour. By now you’ve laid the groundwork. Your child knows what’s expected and that you mean what you say about the penalties for bad behavior.
What can be done:
Discipline is just as important for teens as it is for younger kids. But the approach needs to be changed. Just as with;the 3-year-old who needs you to set a bedtime and enforce it, your teen needs boundaries, too.
Sit and Set rules. Set up rules regarding homework, visits by friends, curfews, and dating. Discuss the rules beforehand with your teenager so there will be no misunderstandings. Your teen will probably complain from time to time, but also will realize that you’re in control. It might sound hard but teens still want and need you to set limits and enforce order in their lives, even as you grant them greater freedom and responsibility.
Privileges are privileges. When your teen does break a rule, taking away privileges may seem the best plan of action. For example, while it’s fine to take away the car for a week,it is also important to tell them why it was done.
Be sure to discuss why coming home an hour past curfew is unacceptable and worrisome.
Don’t control your child through and through. Remember to give a teenager some control over things. Not only will this limit the number of power struggles you have, it will help your teen respect the decisions that you do need to make. For example, allow your younger teen to make decisions concerning clothes, hair styles, or even the condition of his or her room. As your teen gets older, that realm of control might be extended to include an occasional relaxed curfew.
Have your teen earn a later curfew by demonstrating positive behavior instead of setting an earlier curfew as punishment for irresponsible behavior.
Rule you should remember:
It’s important to focus on the positives. Include your child in discussions in the family and allow them to put their views.